Dealing with Shyness

Navigation: Main page

 Print this page Submit articleComment article

Author: Nancy Fagan-Murphy

Dealing with Shyness   

by Nancy Fagan-Murphy, M.S., WomenAndTransition.com

Shyness is a common by-product why you see someone you are attracted to. Unfortunately, if you appear too shy, not only will you come across as less approachable but also as less attractive. The way to avoid this is to find ways of calming your body down when your anxiety rises. Below are seven techniques to try out; they are sure to crush shyness and help meet the partner of your dreams.

Techniques for dealing with shyness:

1. Retreat: Leave the situation temporarily until anxiety subsides.

2. Talk to another person: Redirect nervousness and conversation to someone you are not attracted to.

3. Move around: Force your body to move. This will get rid of excess energy that nervousness creates.

4. Perform a simple repetitive activity: Distract your attention by focusing on a task that requires simple, repetitive action (i.e. tapping your foot, squeezing a ball, chewing gum).

5. Do something that requires focused concentration: Focus all of your attention on a task that demands your full concentration (reading a book, multiplying numbers in your head).

6. Deep breathing: Take slow, deep breaths and exhale slowly. Repeat five times.

7. Repeat positive statements. When you catch negative statements creeping into your thoughts, quickly replace them with positive statements (i.e., Negative thought= "He/She probably doesn't think I'm pretty/handsome enough." Positive statement= "If he/she didn't think I was nice looking, he/she wouldn't be looking my way ."

Nancy Fagan-Murphy, M.S., author of "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Romance" and "Desirable Men: How to Find Them." To read more, visit WomenAndTransition.com.