Getting Him to Propose

Navigation: Main page

 Print this page Submit articleComment article

Author: Alex Daniels

Getting Him to Propose  

by Alex Daniels

The truth is, ladies, getting a guy to propose is sometimes a difficult venture. It's not that he doesn't love you, or even that he is scared of the commitment; most of the time, guys just aren't that great at thinking the situation through and seeing how important getting married is to their girlfriends. Here are some ways that you can get your man thinking in the right direction when it comes to offering a proposal.

Never be obvious

You know how guys never look at maps or consult instruction or assembly manuals? It's not because they know what they are doing, it's because they hate to be told what to do. This is as true about their personal lives as it is about new household implements.

And to be clear, guys dislike the indirect approach even more. Leaving bridal magazines around the house or insisting on looking at rings every time you go out will only entrench him against a proposal. It might seem subtle to you, but if it's subtle enough for him to realize, it's not subtle enough.

So what qualifies as subtle?

The number one tip in subtlely encouraging him to propose is to never let him know what you're thinking, what he's beginning to think or (especially) that you know what he's starting to think about. If this sounds like a lot of work, it is! Think if it sort of like the opposite of when you first started dating and you may have made him wait for certain things. You are going to have to commit to a long term campaign of subterfuge.

The best strategy is in offering comments that are directed towards the idea of marriage, but which do not necessarily pertain to you as individuals. If you come across an article in the newspaper about a couple celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary, comment on it. Make sure to note how old they must have been when they got married; this will put it into perspective for him. Don't expand further or he will be on to you.

When the two of you are out and pass a jewelry store, glance at it but don't go in and don't say anything. Trust me, he'll notice the glances and he will think that he has solved the puzzle all on his own. When you meet up with friends who are recently engaged or married, make sure to look at her rings. Again, make comments but limit them to the subtle. He'll realize that you would love one of your own without being told.

The coup d'etat

Getting a guy to propose can be a long campaign. While most of it may be waged on a level that is the relationship equivalent of tactical engineering, the final battle will need to be unmistakable. If you have been dating or living together for a long time, and still there has been no proposal, it is time to take a trip. This does not mean that you have to break up, or even declare a break. Just schedule a vacation by yourself. It should be long enough that he has plenty of time to work the joy of freedom out of his system and start to realize that he misses you; ten days is usually more than sufficient. If he is the man you want to marry, he will realize in this time that he does not want to be apart from you for this length again. A proposal will definitely be in the offing.

Now all you will have to do is set a wedding date.

Alex consults for an online gift shop offering cheap wedding favors along with bridesmaids "gifts for her". Alex is recently married.